


don't you go

by angstonly



Series: when we're grown [1]
Category: NCT (Band), WAYV
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Awkward Conversations, Closure, Drunken Confessions, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Making Out, some dotae jaewin and johnyuil in the beginning lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:48:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24734158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angstonly/pseuds/angstonly
Summary: kun pulls away, and ten whines at the noticeable lack of kun. ten pouts up at him, breathing heavy as tun smiles at him again. it's hard to be upset when kun is looking at him like that—like ten is special, like his feelings maybe aren't as hopeless as he's always believed them to be."want to turn back time for one night?" kun asks him.ten's sure his face gives his answer away already, but he says yes and nods anyway.(or: one reunion and way too many drinks later, kun and ten find each other in the same situation that led to them drifting apart two years ago)
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Qian Kun
Series: when we're grown [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1988761
Comments: 26
Kudos: 167





	don't you go

**Author's Note:**

> wow my very first kunten and it ended up WAAAYYYY longer than expected lmao also ended up not being pornographic but i Might write an explicit sequel some time in the future who knows
> 
> thank u to everyone who let me scream about this to while i was writing ♡
> 
> it is 7am and i have not slept so i apologize for typos and mistakes!!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* — *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

It's hot as soon as he steps inside the club. Kun undoes a few buttons on his shirt as he weaves through the crowd, thankful that Sicheng had the sense to reserve the VIP floor just for their little gathering. Sicheng looks just as displeased as Kun does as they head for the stairs, which isn't surprising considering they're the two people in their friend group that's been the most focused on their careers. Free nights are scarce, and they typically use it to relax and unwind instead of go out.

Their partying days have long since passed them—Sicheng's especially, whose clubbing adventures dwindled to barely any towards the end of their senior year. Still, they always end up regressing into their younger selves when the rest of their group come together, and it's something they're not particularly proud of.

"Why did we suddenly plan this again?" Sicheng asks as they walk up the steps. Kun shoots a polite smile towards the bouncer who lets them through.

"Doyoung is back in town and wants to introduce his boyfriend to us." Sicheng has his arm looped through Kun's as they walk, already giddy from the drinks they took before coming. Kun should have drank more, if only to match whatever level Sicheng is already on. "You and Jaehyun really should read the GC messages from time to time."

"I can't believe Doyoung got a boyfriend before us," Sicheng whines as they seat themselves at the bar. Their friends haven't arrived yet, which they suppose isn't much of a surprise. "I want one."

"You literally have a Jaehyun, but okay." Kun rolls his eyes as the bartender comes over. He debates for a split second whether to take more shots before their friends appear. Knowing their friends, he's certain they'd be intoxicated as soon as they get here. He decides on a Long Island and the bartender smiles as he begins to prepare it.

"I _don't_ have a Jaehyun." Sicheng rests his head on Kun's shoulder with a sigh. He has that tone of voice that tells Kun that Sicheng may have drank too much during their two-man pregame. Just like old times, Kun thinks. "I wish I had a Jaehyun, but I don't. It's so sad."

Sicheng stiffens when they hear a voice behind them saying, "What do you mean you don't have a Jaehyun? What the fuck am I then?"

The bartender returns with Kun's drink, but Sicheng snatches it from Kun's hand and chugs away. Kun looks over his shoulder to smile at a confused, red-faced Jaehyun as Doyoung walks after him. They're both relatively drunk as he predicted, but Kun is unfortunately still stone-cold sober.

Nothing new, though. Even in their prime years, Kun had always been the friend that never got too drunk anyway.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* — *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"Those two are off on their own world again like always," Doyoung nods in the direction of the bar, where Jaehyun has replaced Kun on the stool beside Sicheng. "They've been like this for years and you're telling me there's been _zero_ progress?"

Kun laughs as he sips on his now half-empty glass of Long Island, leaning against the railing next to his old friend. They have a full view of the floor below them, mass of bodies congregated in the middle of the dance floor. Just two years ago, they would have been down there, dancing the night away until close.

"They're exactly the same," Kun says with a shrug, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Well, just aged up and they have big boy jobs now. I don't know what's keeping them from actually getting together, but I know better than to ask."

"It's an absolute catastrophe that I managed to get a boyfriend before the two of you." Doyoung shakes his head, but quickly smiles as he sees a figure emerge from the stairs. "Speaking of," he says, nudging Kun lightly, "I'd like to introduce you to Taeyong."

A manhwa character has jumped out of its pages in the form of Doyoung's boyfriend. This is what Kun thinks as he shakes Taeyong's hand with a polite smile. The name sounds familiar, something that pulls at a memory deep in the back of his mind.

"Oh," Kun exclaims. Doyoung and Taeyong both look at him with questioning gazes, and he can't help but chuckle at their mirrored expressions. Kun turns to Doyoung, whose eyes widen in alarm as Kun's lips stretch into a wider grin. "Taeyong, as in the childhood best friend you wouldn't shut up about in the four years we spent together in uni? _That_ Taeyong?"

"Is that so?" Taeyong grins back, turning towards Doyoung, who is now shooting daggers at Kun with reddened cheeks. "Damn, even while we were apart, you were still obsessed with me."

"Fuck off," Doyoung hisses, rolling his eyes before facing Kun. "You're dead to me, Qian. I'm never going to hear the end of it."

"Please, you got your man in the end." Kun huffs a laugh as Taeyong circles Doyoung's waist from behind, chin resting on his shoulder. Taeyong looks more intoxicated than Doyoung, which isn't a surprise considering he and Doyoung were almost always the least drunk on their nights out. "Meanwhile, I'm still on my own. Even the kids have a better love life than I do."

"Which kids?" Doyoung raises an eyebrow, fighting the smile threatening to spread on his face when Taeyong presses a kiss to his shoulder. Kun is half nauseated and half jealous of the affection. "The only one I keep in contact with is Jeno, and he doesn't really tell me anything other than his academic struggles."

"Xuxi lives with me so I'm still in the loop ," Kun hums, finishing up the last of his drink. He tries not to cringe when he catches the two sneak a kiss while he wasn't looking. "From what he tells me, the kids we know are either already in relationships or they're about to be. I think Mark's planning on asking Jungwoo out soon."

"We need to get you laid. You're living vicariously through the kids and it's getting sad," Doyoung sighs. Kun wonders how he's able to ignore the Taeyong clung to his back and giggling in his ear every time Doyoung speaks. Love is magical, he supposes. "How long has it been since you last got dick? _Please_ don't tell me you've been dry since that night senior year."

"It's fine, really," Kun laughs with a shrug. His face feels a lot warmer than before, which he assumes is from the alcohol that's finally taking effect. "I've sworn off hookups after the last time. Besides, I think I'll teeter on the sober side tonight. Who knows what kind of messes everyone's going to end up becoming tonight?"

"Ah yes, one of SMU's biggest mysteries: the Kun hookup that effectively ended his hookup career."

"Hookup career?" Kun deadpans. "What the—"

Before Kun could finish, they're greeted by boisterous laughter coming from the stairs. They don't need to look to know who it's from.

"A round of shots for everyone on me!" is how Johnny decides to greet them.

"And another round immediately after on me!" adds Yuta.

"And a third round after on me!" finishes Taeil.

Johnny rushes towards the bar and envelops Jaehyun and Sicheng in his arms before handing the bartender his card. Taeil and Yuta follow after him, handing their own respective cards to the bartender.

"I don't get why they don't just put it all on one card. They share a fucking bank account anyway."

"Fucking hell, Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul!" Doyoung nearly tackles Ten in a hug, showering him with both expletives and affection just like he always does. "How fucking dare you not even say you're going to be in town too! What the fuck is wrong with you, dickhead?"

"Oh my God, why are you full-naming me?" Ten whines, but he's smiling as he returns the hug. "Did you miss me that much? After all this time, you're still after my dick. Thank you, but no."

"This fucking bitch." Doyoung gives him a good smack to the arm before waving Taeyong over. He introduces the two and they immediately gets lost in conversation. Doyoung's eyes are shining as he smiles, and Kun can only assume it's from the joy of having his closest friends finally meet his boyfriend.

As Kun moves to get himself another drink, his eyes meet Ten's for the briefest of moments. It's a fleeting moment, one that ends as soon as it begins.

But just like that, his heart beats Ten's name just like it did all those years ago.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* — *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

They really do regress into their university-aged selves when they're together, especially in a club. It's too familiar, too reminiscent of the pinnacle of their youth, so they can't help but find themselves indulging in how they used to be. The alcohol keeps coming courtesy of the throuple, which they take without much thought whenever it's handed to them.

All except Ten, who is too in awe of the sight before him to pay attention to getting drunk.

Kun is laughing with Yuta and Taeil in one of the booths, voice high and animated as they share funny anecdotes from their senior year. It puts a smile on Ten's face as he stays with Johnny, Doyoung, and Taeyong, drifting in and out of the conversation because of the distraction.

"Jesus, Ten, you're drooling," Johnny points out with a poke to his side. He's leaning against the railing and swaying slightly to the music with a drink in his hand. "Just talk to him already. Why stare at him all night, when you could be sucking his dick instead?"

"I—What kind of jump?" Ten laughs, running a hand through his hair as his face feels warmer. Johnny grins at him with pride as Doyoung laughs along with him. "It's awkward. We haven't spoken since the graduation party and I don't really know what to say to him at this point."

"What even happened to you two?" Doyoung asks, words slightly slurring as he rests against Taeyong. "You guys used to be pretty close then out of nowhere, distant! Kun said you guys just drifted apart because senior year got really hectic."

Ten glances over at Kun, who is laughing so heartily with Taeil that it makes him smile seeing him so happy. It's nostalgic in a sense, to be able to be around Kun again, even if slightly from a distance like right now. "No, it's true," Ten says as he looks back at Doyoung. "Application season got him really distant, remember? He barely spent time with any of us except Sicheng, and it's only because they were applying to stuff together."

"Makes sense." Johnny shrugs, handing Ten his drink. "Drink, bitch."

Ten finishes up Johnny's drink, ignoring the burning gaze he's getting from Doyoung. Doyoung looks unconvinced, but he's thankful that Taeyong chooses now to press kisses to the side of his neck. From the booth, Yuta starts whooping and cheering the two on as Taeil starts clapping. Johnny looks at them both with stars in his eyes, smile on his lips that convey all the affection he holds for them in his heart.

Ten looks over as Kun looks back at him, skin glistening under the fluorescent lights in a way that makes him look like he's glowing. It really has been a while since they've last seen each other, let alone spoken. Kun is as radiant as ever, even more so in that second where he smiles at Ten right before he turns his attention back to Yuta and Taeil.

"I know that's not the full story," Johnny whispers in his ear. Ten pushes him away and is met with a suggestive smile, one that says he knows more than he pretends to. "It's been years, Ten. Are you ever going to tell me, your very best friend in the whole entire world, the truth?"

"So dramatic." Ten rolls his eyes, which makes Johnny smiles wider. He tips his head towards the bar and begins to walk, a silent invitation for Johnny to follow. If he's going to talk about him and Kun, he needs to be a _lot_ more drunk than he is now.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* — *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

In retrospect, Kun should have known that any declarations of sobriety would pretty much guarantee him getting absolutely piss drunk halfway through the night—especially when Johnny, Yuta, and Taeil are around.

Sobriety is a sin when they're all gathered, moreso now that their times together have become incredibly sporadic. He and Doyoung are always on the same boat—handed shot after shot after shot, forbidden from being anything other than absolutely trashed. It's a fate that's long since been accepted, their destiny from the moment their group of friends came to be. If Johnny, Yuta, and Taeil want something, they will always get it.

They're powerful enough on their own, but there's no escaping them once they join forces and become the ultimate unit.

Everything about this night is exactly as how it always goes.

Except for the fact that Kun is now on Ten's back, legs hooked around Ten's waist, arms around his neck as they make it out of the club. It was usually the other way around—Kun would carry a drunk Ten on his back after a night of partying, setting him down only when they're in an Uber and whenever they reach wherever they decide to stay that night.

"Wait, hold on," Kun says as he nuzzles against the crook of Ten's neck. "This is wrong! Why am I on _your_ back? You should be on mine! _I_ carry _you_ , that's the rule!"

"You're too drunk to carry me," Ten points out, and Kun pouts because it's absolutely true. Instead of arguing, he giggles against Ten's skin. His breath is warm, a little ticklish to Ten, who hasn't stopped smiling since they finally exchanged their first words earlier in the night. "Let me take care of you for once."

"But you're drunk too," Kun whines, tightening his hold on Ten, lazy smile settling on his lips. "Ten is drunk. Kun is drunk. Both drunk. Hey! We're both drunk together after so long! It's been so long— _too_ long."

"Not as drunk as you, babe." Ten laughs, hoping that the way his heart is beating is a result of all the drinks they've had tonight. Kun's right—it's been too long since they've last hung out together, let alone had any type of conversation beyond mere pleasantries. His face feels warm—it's the alcohol, he thinks, though he supposes it's possible that there could be because of something else entirely.

"Are you two going to be okay?" Johnny sidles up next to Ten, patting Kun on the shoulder. Kun turns to smile at Johnny with his eyes closed, face still red and hot to the touch. "Kun's apartment is right down the street. I can walk with your drunk asses to make sure you guys make it."

Ten wrinkles his nose at Johnny. "How are you not drunk right now? What about the others?"

"Yuta, Taeil, and I have a system. We always have one who doesn't drink as much, and tonight was my night," Johnny laughs heartily before stepping in front of Ten. Kun raises his head, squinting at Johnny with a hazy mind. He giggles again for no damn reason, and Johnny can't help but grin at the way Ten smiles as he hears Kun's laugh. "Jesus, it's been years. Still?"

Ten rolls his eyes, but the way his smile widens betrays him. "It's not like that, idiot. It's probably the nostalgia since it's been a while since we've all gotten together," Ten says, though his heart is all but saying otherwise.

"Still what?" Kun asks, eyebrows pinching together as he shifts get a better look at Ten's face. "I don't get it."

"It's nothing, Kun," Ten tells him, shooting Johnny a glare. "Johnny's being dumb as always. We're taking you home."

"Hoooooooome," Kun drawls out so close to Ten's ear that it makes him shudder. "Are you staying over? You should stay over. I missed you. Stay over."

"Yeah, Ten, are you staying over?" Johnny adds with a teasing smile.

If not for Kun on his back, Ten would have smacked Johnny on the head already. Instead, he sighs and follows after Johnny as he leads the way.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* — *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

There was a time long ago when Ten had sworn off ever getting drunk around Kun. Ever since that night, he promised he would stay on his senses to be safe. Yet here he is two years later, drunk off his ass, laughing the night away in Kun's apartment.

"God, that was the stupidest thing ever," Kun nearly screeches in between high-pitched laughter. They're on the living room couch, more drinks laid out on the coffee table. "Yuta literally set his own pants on fire!"

"I know!" Ten agrees with a backslapping chortle, what little semblance of sobriety he had just an hour ago now again replaced by the alcohol running through his veins. "He had holes in his pants right above his butt cheeks!"

They get lost in the sentimentality of it all, lowered inhibitions lending to the ease of their recollections. They talk and laugh and drink together, almost as though they had never drifted apart. It's like everything between them had been put on pause until now, picking up exactly from where they had left off.

Maybe this is why Kun feels brave enough to ask:

"Why?"

Ten's laughter abruptly stops, a sad smile ghosting upon his lips. "Oh come on, we were having fun," he says, reaching for the half-empty bottle in Kun's hand and taking a swig. He doesn't really need any more to drink (neither of them do), but if they're going to talk about this tonight, he'd rather black out and forget it come morning.

Kun snatches the bottle from him as soon as Ten finishes his pull, following his lead in downing more alcohol. He tilts his head to the side as he smiles at Ten, who's staring back at him with half-lidded eyes. "Listen, it was bound to come up sooner or later," Kun says as his smile grows wider. "Tell me before I sit on you!"

"Oh my God, no," Ten gives Kun a shove without much strength, more playful than anything else. They start chuckling again as Kun begins to move towards him, eyes disappearing as his grin stretches across his face. "Kun, I swear to God—"

It's futile to resist. Kun climbs onto his lap and sits on him, straddles him with a face full of mischief. Ten huffs a laugh as Kun winds his arms around his neck, heart in his throat as their gazes meet and he sees himself reflected in Kun's eyes.

"Now you have to answer," Kun says smugly, staring intently without once breaking contact.

"This is cheating," Ten whines, head falling to rest his forehead on Kun's shoulder. He gets dizzier when he closes his eyes, but he'd rather let the fog come than look back. He always buckles under the weight of Kun's stare. "You're also playing a very dangerous game, Qian."

Kun laughs again, and it sounds so pretty that Ten can't help but look up. There's no use trying to avoid it—not when he's always been weak against Kun. It was always that way years ago, and it's not even that surprising that it still holds true now. Johnny was right; what's the point of denying it? "How bad could it be? I don't think anything could be worse than not knowing what went wrong."

"What went wrong?" Against his better judgment, Ten cups Kun's cheek. His touch is gentle, but Kun leans into his hand and it's instinct the way Ten's thumb brushes against Kun's skin. "Nothing went wrong, Kun. I can promise you that."

Kun narrows his eyes suspiciously at Ten, pulling his hand off but not letting go. "Did you regret it? You could have just told me that instead of the whole—well, just drifting away and all that shit."

"Oh God, no!" Ten's eyes widen, heart beating so loud in his chest at the thought. Had Kun been thinking this way ever since? Has Kun been just as downcast as he was after everything that happened? "Kun, no, never. It was one of the best nights of my life. God, I would never regret that."

"Which," Kun begins to singsong, beaming at Ten despite how solemn the topic of their conversation is, "is why I'm asking: why?" Kun punctuates his sentence with a light tap to Ten's nose, his other hand still in Ten's. "You kept avoiding me every time I tried to talk to you, so I figured you probably just wanted to forget it ever happened. Did you think it was a mistake?"

"No, of course not. It's a memory I cherish a lot," Ten admits, suddenly very aware of the Kun on his lap. It's a scene so familiar, an image burned into his memory from their night together those years ago. "The only mistake I made was letting it ruin our friendship."

"Is our friendship ruined?" Kun feigns confusion, expression exaggerated as he and Ten share a look. "I didn't know our friendship was ruined."

"Shut up, you know what I mean." They laugh together, maintaining eye contact as Ten takes Kun's face in his hands, thumbs brushing against his cheekbones. "I'm sorry I avoided you. I'm sorry I acted the way I did. I don't regret what happened that night, but I do regret what happened after."

"That doesn't answer my question, master evader." Kun places his hands on top of Ten's, playfully glowering at him. There's no real malice to his voice; his questions are out of genuine curiosity rather than a held grudge. "I'm not mad at you, if you're nervous about that. I just really want to know."

"I'm a weak bitch who can't handle rejection." Ten shrugs as Kun blinks back at him, his hold on Ten's hands tighter as he brings them down. Kun looks so earnestly bemused, lips slightly parted, unconsciously inching closer. "Please don't look at me like that, it makes me want to kiss you."

Kun's mouth opens as though to say something, but it closes as his puzzlement becomes fully realized on his face. As emotional as a conversation this is, Ten can't help but expel a good-natured chuckle at the way Kun is looking at him. He's too drunk to care of the implications of his words, intoxication lending to his bravado.

"Do it," Kun says, lacing their fingers together, impassioned gaze burning into Ten's. It catches him by surprise, laughter cutting short.

Kun's face is still flushed, rose dusted all over his skin. They stare at each other in silence, Ten's heartbeat ringing in his ears as the time ticks by. It feels like forever, but it couldn't have been longer than a couple of seconds. Everything slows when he's with Kun—it's been like that for as long as he can remember, a truth he's hidden from the moment they first met.

The whole world stops when Kun's lips land on his, and it's almost instinct how quickly Ten reacts to him. It's been two years since the first and last time they kissed, but kissing Kun always feels right. To Ten, kissing Kun is as visceral as breathing, as natural as his heart beating in his chest.

Everything that happens next is muscle memory—the way their lips connect, the way their hands travel down memorized skin, the way their bodies move in a harmonious dance uniquely their own. It doesn't matter that time has passed—their bodies remember, and so do their hearts.

Every time Kun tries to pause, Ten chases after him and reconnects them, unwilling to let this gift of time pass him by when it's something he never thought he would have again.

Ten wraps his arms around Kun, and Kun willingly goes along with him as Ten allows himself to fall on his back on the couch. It feels exactly like he remembers, as electric as the first time they shared a kiss. Even in the haze of inebriation, Ten knows this is more than that. It's always been more than that, and this time, he's ready to admit it.

They're breathless as Kun pulls away, propped up on his hands as he hovers above Ten. They're panting and red, lost in each other as they try to catch their breath. Ten's hands rest on Kun's shoulder, and Kun finds himself smiling above him. There's so much affection in the way Kun is looking at him that Ten feels his whole body heat up, every feeling he's kept hidden coursing through every nerve in his body.

Ten feels like he's on fire, set ablaze by the twinkle in Kun's eyes as they stare at each other.

When they kiss again, Ten hooks his legs around Kun and winds his arms around his neck, pulling him impossibly close. With Kun's full bodyweight on him, they can feel how fast each other's heart is beating. And when Kun smiles against his lips, Ten knows there's no turning back now.

"Kun," Ten mumbles in between kisses, punctuated by a moan as Kun trails kisses down his neck. "Kun, I—"

"Don't say anything," Kun mumbles against his skin, and Ten happily obliges. Instead, Ten bites down on his bottom lip, craning his neck to give Kun more access. "

"Fuck!" Ten hisses as Kun bites down on his skin, sucking at a sensitive spot that makes Ten's whole body writhe under Kun's bodyweight. His fingers weave through Kun's hair, tugging as Kun licks and nibbles up his neck "Fuck, Kun."

Kun pulls away, and Ten whines at the noticeable lack of _Kun_. Ten pouts up at him, breathing heavy as Kun smiles at him again. It's hard to be upset when Kun is looking at him like that—like Ten is special, like his feelings maybe aren't as hopeless as he's always believed them to be.

"Want to turn back time for one night?" Kun asks him.

Ten's sure his face gives his answer away already, but he says yes and nods anyway.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* — *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

When Kun wakes up the next morning, the hangover greets him as he expected it to. He hisses as sunlight hits his face, shifting to face away from the brightness of the window. It's only then that he remembers that he's not in his bed alone. Ten's face is so close to his, and his eyes widen as the memories from their night together come flooding back. Images play in his mind, face turning red at every vivid recollection of sight and sound and touch.

It all happened. They slept together again, and it was Kun who made the first move.

"I can _feel_ you staring at me, Kun," Ten mumbles, eyes still closed. Kun thinks he looks really pretty like this—not that Ten isn't breathtaking at any given moment already. There's something about Ten early in the morning, sleepy and mumbling and peaceful, that hits Kun in a different, more special way. "You're going to want to hold on tight if you don't want me to run off when I'm more awake."

"You'd really run away again?" Kun asks, voice soft. He drapes an arm across Ten's body and pulls him closer. Their limbs tangle under the covers, Ten's cheek resting against Kun's bare chest.

"No," he yawns, nuzzling closer. Such a simple gesture and yet, Kun’s heart feels like it's ready to burst. “Just an excuse to snuggle up to you some more. I’m still sleepy.”

Kun thinks back to the night prior, to the familiarity of it all. This, however, is different. Two years ago, there was no morning after. There were no sleepy conversations, no naked cuddles as Ten drifts back to sleep. Two years ago, Kun woke up to an empty bed and a lot of confusion.

This time, it's just confusion.

He leaves it be, though. At least for the moment. He doesn't know how the rest of the day will go once they're both more awake. So he clings to this moment, clings to the way Ten feels in his arms, clings to the warmth of Ten’s skin against his. He lets his guard down and holds Ten tightly, nose buried in his hair, falling back asleep to the sound of Ten’s even breathing.

Whatever happens later, he'll deal with it then. For now, he’ll allow himself this luxury.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* — *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

His head isn't pounding anymore when he wakes up again; it's instead more of like a dull ache. Kun yawns as he slowly sits up, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes. He stares idly at an arbitrary spot on the wall, shoulders slumped as he waits for his senses to return.

When they do, he nearly screams.

Ten is gone. Again. Exactly like two years ago.

"God, I knew it!" Kun exclaims, frustrated as he runs his hand through his already messy hair. He gets out of bed and throws his robe on, muttering curses as he grabs his glasses from the bedside table. "I just knew it. I fucking knew it. I should have known better than to trust Ten not to—"

"Not to what? Leave without a word again?" Ten interrupts, leaning against the doorframe in all of his naked glory, arms folded against his chest as his lips stretch into a mischievous smile. He arches an eyebrow, tilting his head to the side. "Give me more credit, Mr. Qian. I'm not twenty-one and stupid anymore. Now, I'm twenty-three and marginally less stupid."

"Jesus Christ, Ten! You're going to give me a heart attack!" Kun hisses, red in the face as he hastily turns away. Even as students, Ten had always been the death of him. There's comfort in knowing that things haven't changed _that_ much, though his heart is about to jump out of his chest. "Put some clothes on, oh my God."

"It's my job." Ten guffaws, throwing his head back before making his way towards Kun. He sits down on the edge of the bed, cheeky smile on his face as he looks up at Kun furiously blushing, still refusing to meet his eyes. "Hm, maybe if you look at me."

"You're killing me." Kun pinches the bridge of his nose with an exasperated sigh right as he turns to face him. Ten's expression softens as they hold each other's gazes, smile less playful and more warm. Ten extends his arms out towards Kun, who hesitates for a quick second before coming over. "Bastard."

"That's me!" Ten chuckles as he rises to his feet, wrapping Kun in his arms and letting his chin rest on Kun's shoulder. Kun discernibly relaxes as he returns Ten's hug, exhaling loudly as he allows himself to savor the time they have together.

Kun's heart doesn't want to shut up. It beats faster, louder the longer they hold each other. His heart is clear—it's been telling him the same things about Ten as it did all that time ago. His mind, however, is a different story. It's conflicted, confused, and overwhelmed. "I, uh, I don't really know where we go from here."

Ten pulls away with a sheepish smile, not really sure about any of this himself. He's older than he was back then, more mature than back in his youth. It's not much time in the grand scheme of things, but their time apart had given him a lot to think about.

Where _do_ they go from here?

Right as Ten is about to speak, his stomach answers for him in a loud embarrassing grumble.

"I guess food is where we go from here."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* — *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"Kun, you literally had your dick deep in my ass less than twenty-four hours ago. You—"

"Can you please not!" Kun yelps as he focuses on the eggs cooking on his pan, ignoring the echo of Ten's laughter in his kitchen. "I'm going to burn your eggs out of spite."

"You wouldn't," Ten singsongs, chin resting on his palm, elbow propped up on the granite surface of the island. He's begrudgingly dressed as requested, but he finds certain comfort in the smell of Kun's clothes and the way it hangs off his slimmer frame.

Conversation halts there, with Kun directing all of his attention to the food he's preparing. He's not really sure what to say, not really sure what's going to happen after all of this. If anything, Kun would assume that they'd exchange a couple of pleasantries over brunch and Ten will be on his way.

"You're overthinking, aren't you?"

Kun shrugs, looking over his shoulder with a small smile. "How did you know?"

"You always do."

He can't really deny that. He overthinks, mulls things over more than necessary, but never really talks about it until it's far too late. It's what happened back then, too. He thought about everything so much until his head hurt, but never spoke about it until much later—not even on purpose. (Sicheng wanted to drink and talk about Jaehyun, Kun indulged him and ended up talking about Ten.)

It's quiet as they eat, Kun lost in his thoughts as always. Ten watches him closely, observes the way the light hits his face, casting shadows against the white walls of his apartment. He didn't really notice the night before, but he would have immediately known this place was Kun's even without being told.

"Where's Xuxi? Johnny said you guys still live together." Ten says when they finish eating, taking the empty plates before Kun could beat him to it. Kun looks like he's about to protest, but Ten shoots him a glare that quiets him before he could.

"He's at Guanheng's for the summer. Meet the parents and all." Kun moves to seat himself on top of the island counter, watching Ten's back as he washes the dishes. It's so domestic that Kun feels a little nauseous.

"Damn. Go Xuxi."

Silence befalls them once more, only the running water interrupting the quiet. Ten moves slower than usual, buying himself time to think about what he's going to say next. They're both skirting around what they know they _should_ talk about, and Ten can admit that it's mostly his fault—he's never made things easy for Kun, after all.

In truth, Ten isn't sure if he's ready to confront his past mistakes, to tell Kun about all that's kept him from making things right long ago. Still, he has to try.

"Ten—"

"Kun—"

They laugh softly at their synchronization as Ten dries his hands, eyes lighting up with affection. Kun nods at him, a wordless encouragement to continue, and Ten takes a deep breath as he seats himself on the counter directly across from Kun. He can do this. He's not the same coward as he was two years ago.

"Do you remember what I said last night? About being a weak bitch who can't handle rejection?" Ten starts, legs swinging because of his nerves. He waits, continuing only after Kun nods at him. It takes everything in his power not to scream as his heart runs races in his chest. "So, uh, basically—the thing is—it's really just—okay," Ten groans, running his fingers through his hair. "God, can I just suck your dick again?"

Kun raises an eyebrow at him. "I mean, if you want to."

"I do," Ten says without missing a beat, "and I will, just—let me get this out and I'll suck you dry."

"I was joking—"

"I'm not, just give me a second!"

Kun sighs and hops off the counter, moving to stand between Ten's legs and cage him between his arms. "I think I get it," he whispers as they share a meaningful gaze. "Ten, it's fine. You don't have to say anything. You don't have to explain."

"I want to," he says earnestly, hands resting on Kun's shoulders. There's kindness in Kun's eyes—a warmth that's unique to Kun, a tenderness that's pulled Ten in and hasn't let go ever since the day they met. "It's been years, Kun. I want to tell you. It's just—God, I thought I would be better at talking about feelings by now, but I'm still pretty shit at it."

"No, you're better." Kun smiles at him, gaze not once leaving his. "Two years ago, we wouldn't even be having this conversation at all. You literally left when I was asleep and avoided the shit out of me every time I tried to bring it up."

"I know," Ten pouts, aiming a weak punch at Kun's chest. He sighs, casting his gaze downwards as he allows himself to feel all of his guilt. "I'm sorry, Kun. I really am. You didn't deserve that."

"Hey," Kun cups his cheek, and their eyes meet. Ten wonders if Kun can hear how loud his heart is beating, how hot it feels where Kun's hand rests on his skin. "I've forgiven you a long time ago. When have I ever been able to stay mad at you?"

"I figured that would have done it," Ten says softly, finally cracking a smile.

"Never. I've always had a soft spot for you."

If he wasn't sure how ready he was just minutes ago, he's absolutely certain of it now. It's hard not to be when Kun looks at him with all the fondness in the world, eyes glistening as though the stars have made them their permanent home.

"Kun, I was deeply in love with you," Ten finally says, ignoring how numb his whole body feels. It's now or never—no more running, no more avoiding. He owes Kun at least this much. "From the moment we met, I just knew you would be special to me. It's fucking crazy, I know. I was never the one for those silly hopeless romantic things, but I've always felt differently for you.

"I should have known how stupid it was to just bury it all down." Ten flashes him half a smile, taking Kun's hand in his own. "I was in love with you, but I was also really afraid of rejection. So when we slept together senior year, I freaked out and shut you out because I was afraid of what you would say. I didn't want to hear you say you regretted it or apologize for it or—I don't know, everything? I was just really fucking terrified."

"Ten…"

"I know, I know, I was a coward." Ten squeezes Kun's hand with a heavy-hearted sigh. "In retrospect, I should have just talked to you. We were friends—we would have gotten through it. Instead, we drifted apart and we ended up practically like strangers. And for no good fucking reason! I'm sorry, Kun."

"Damn, who are you and what have you done with my emotionally stunted Ten?"

"Rude! I grew up, asshole!" Ten feigns offense, slapping Kun on the arm before laughing along with him.

"Have you grown enough to hear what I would have said two years ago?"

Ten stares at him, lips parting as he hesitates to answer. He's grown, sure, and their conversation is going great, but the twenty-one-year old Ten inside of him is still feeling nervous. "Fuck it," he finally says. "Lay it on me. Reject twenty-one-year old Ten."

"Oh my God, you still—" Kun looks exasperated as he stares back at Ten, bending just enough to be able to rest his head on Ten's shoulder. "God, you're infuriating," he says right as he stands upright, taking Ten's face in his hands. "Ten, if you had just let me talk, I would have told you how happy I was that we spent that night together. It wasn't the ideal first time together, but I was happy nonetheless. I was in love with you too, you absolute moron. We could have been together if you had just let me talk!"

"Oh my God. You're lying." Ten deadpans. "No fucking way. You're fucking lying."

Kun matches his expression, shaking his head. "Dead serious, Chittaphon."

Ten really wants to beat his younger self up. If not for how absolutely obstinate he was in his youth, they could have spent this time with each other rather than apart. Had he let Kun talk, had he not evaded him at all costs, things would have been drastically different for them both.

"Well, what about last night?" Ten asks.

"What _about_ last night?"

"It was—I mean, it was like back then, only our roles are flipped. My drunk ass was acting on feelings when I made a move on you back then. What about you? What about last night?"

"Really, who are you?" Kun quips, earning him a glower and a punch to his shoulder. "I'm kidding!"

"Just answer. Please?" Ten pouts at him again. "I'm seriously dying over here. I _hate_ talking about feelings but I did it, and I really want to know where we're at right now because holy shit I was not expecting this at all. I was honestly planning on—"

"Ten," Kun interrupts, but Ten keeps going.

"I'm rambling a little, I know. I just have been keeping this inside for years! Now that it's out, I'm just nervous and this is probably just my way of preparing myself for what you're going to say. It's been years, and I don't expect you to—"

"Ten, seriously," Kun squishes his cheeks between his palms. "Shut up."

"Sorry. Okay. Sorry."

"I'm going to kiss you."

"Oh."

Ten blinks at him. And again. And again. Kun lowers his hands to Ten's waist, stepping forward while pulling Ten close, and Ten can't fight the smile that spreads across his face. He wraps his arms around Kun's neck, legs hooking around his waist, staring deeply into Kun's eyes.

His eyes flutter shut as their lips meet, and it feels just like the night before but better. He feels it all more vigorously, all of his senses acute and aware, untarnished by alcohol. His whole body feels like it's been set ablaze, hotter and hotter as they kiss like it's the very first time. It's slow but impassioned, filled with years of unspoken love now finally said out loud, filled with the regrets of having let time pass them by, filled with hope for whatever future they have together that's to come.

Ten feels like melting when he feels Kun smile against the kiss, his heart carving Kun's name in his chest with every beat.

"I love you, Kun," Ten says as they pull away for air. "I've never stopped."

"It's always been you, Ten," Kun replies, leaning for another quick kiss. "I love you."

They hold each other's gazes, hearts beating in sync. There's still so much to talk about and figure out, but they'll put it off for now. It's okay, they can wait. They have all the time in the world.

"So." Ten cracks a cheeky smile. "Can I suck your dick now?"

Kun snorts. "I mean, if you want to."

"I've been without it for two years, Qian." Ten grins at him widely. "A bitch is horny."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* — *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"Do you really have to go?"

Kun leans against Ten's car, frowning as he watches Ten toss his luggage in the trunk. The weekend comes and goes quickly, especially when they spend most of it lost in each other, catching up in all the time they've lost. Before they knew it, it was already time for Ten to head back home—six hours away.

"Unfortunately," Ten sighs, walking over to where Ten is standing. "I am a slave to capitalism. Unless you want to be my sugar daddy."

"If I agree, will you stay?" Kun whines, pulling Ten into his arms.

"Don't say things you don't mean, stupid." Ten laughs as Kun rolls his eyes. If Ten could have it his way, he'd quit his job and stay right here with Kun. Capitalism is unfortunately a gigantic cockblocker, one that can't easily be overcome. "I'll be back soon, I promise."

"The universe is stupid," Kun sighs, holding Ten close, still unwilling to let go. "We literally just got together, and now we have to be apart again."

"Please. If we can get through my stupidity, we can get through anything."

They stay with each other for as long as time permits, pushing the limits until Ten absolutely has to go. They share one more kiss before he finally drives away, Kun watching with a fond smile until his car disappears into the horizon.

Time is funny sometimes, but Kun thinks everything works out as it should eventually. It wasn't their time then—that much is clear.

But it's finally their time now.

**Author's Note:**

> [twt](http://twitter.com/angstonly) / [cc](http://curiouscat.me/angstonly)


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